Not Yet--Thank Heaven!

People always ask me if Patty has found out about the book yet. Absolutely not! And do you know how I know this to be true? Because I haven't been sued yet! In previous court hearings Patty and her attorney have frequently referred to the infamous "munchausen letters" that I wrote to Steven's doctors. Nothing comes of it but it still "irks" them. If Patty knew about the book, I guarantee we would have been bombarded with accusations, lawyers, and threats. There are people who live in Patty's home town who have read the book and BLESS THEIR HEARTS--have kept the book under tight wraps! Thanks guys! I owe you B.I.G.T.I.M.E. I want to thank you all for reading and for checking in on the blog. Have a wonderful holiday and from the whole Barker clan we wish you a Merry Christmas!
C.B.

"Daddy's Gonna Kill Ralphie!"

You know the movie . . . A Christmas Story! It's become a holiday favorite in our family--lines from the movie are quoted on a regular basis. The day after Thanksgiving I popped the movie into the DVD player in hopes that the grandkids would sit down to watch it and the noise level would diminish to a tolerable level. Steven looked at me a little sheepishly and announced that he's not allowed to watch that movie. "My mom says there are bad words in it, so I can't watch it." Now under normal circumstances I always defer to the judgement of *the mother.* But since this particular mother has no judgement, we all sat down and watched Ralphie, Randy, Flick, and of course . . . Scutt Farkus. Hence the new poll! I'll be very interested in the results.

She Did What?

Last Friday Keith had an appointment at the middle school to attend Steven's I.E.P. (Individual Education Plan). The meeting was supposed to be at 7:15 a.m. but the school called and rescheduled for 1:30 p.m. No problem. Keith arrived at the meeting and sat down with the faculty from the school. Principal Petersen began the meeting by saying, "I've instructed my staff that if she comes, they're to usher her into the room." Keith was confused--he said, "Beth isn't coming." Principal Petersen informed him that Patty had called the special education teacher and told him to reschedule the appointment for after lunch because she was flying in to attend this I.E.P. "I've never missed one of these," she told the educator. Once again Keith's jaw dropped to the floor, then he burst out laughing. "She's not coming," he informed them. Principal Petersen is a cousin of mine and is very familiar with our Patty. The other educators are new to the situation, but I'm sure they'll be up to speed in no time. Patty loves C.O.N.T.R.O.L. She knew good and well that she was NOT going to fly 2,000 miles to attend a 15 minute meeting, but was successful in upsetting the schedule of 5 different people. All this is merely an attempt to put herself back in the game! Pathetic--life is too short!
BTW: Steven's I.E.P. was fantastic. After evaluating him on several levels the school came to the conclusion that he was functioning completely within the realm of a normal 5th grader and no further special attention was required. Naturally, this is music to our ears! With the help of dad and that wonderful step-mother of his, he's been able to catch up in a little over a year. Now that's PROGRESS. Thanks for reading!

And . . . ?

Keith and Dad have spent the last two days in Florida for Steven's custody hearing. The first day was spent, once again, with Patty's attorney trying to muddy the waters arguing over past rulings. They attacked Keith and his decisions regarding his job and family, they attacked Keith's attorney, they attacked Steven's attorney (Gloria Winston/former Guardian ad Litem), they attacked the principals at the school and questioned the validity of testing done on Steven. They attacked the testimony of doctors and psychologists who have treated Steven while in Utah. They went after everyone and anyone who felt that Steven might possibly be better off with his dad. The hearing ran long and was very tense. As time was running out on the second day, Keith and Dad had resigned themselves to the fact that this hearing could not be completed in the scheduled two days and a third hearing was inevitable. The judge thought otherwise. He said, "Let's get 'er done." The courthouse was locked up with the exception of one door and the hearing continued well into the evening. At the conclusion, the judge told the attorneys that they were to submit their closing arguments in 3 type-written pages (he even specified the font and size) and have them to him before January. Patty's attorney argued that she couldn't possibly do it in less that 20--he growled, "You've got THREE." So . . . the ruling will be handed down some time in February. I know it's frustrating as we all wanted a ruling now but we believe this is a good time for patience. This judge is taking his time and making sure every thing is legal and properly documented. Once all these legalities have been carefully scrutinized and covered, there will less likely be a reversal upon appeal--which is inevitable. I promise to update my website with more details as quickly as I can. Thanks for your interest and God bless!
C.B.

FYI: Patty was caught in one lie after another. The judge himself caught her in several lies that neither attorney caught. Her own exhibits and claims were filled with discrepencies and this sharp old retired judge didn't miss a thing. We love him!

Hearing Starts Today

I realize that I have not provided many updates to this story. Most of the details are rather boring, infuriating, and just more of the same. This will continue until Steven turns 18 years old and is no longer under the jurisdiction of the court. Patty's "standard operating procedure" is still the same.

Keith--during this economic crisis--lost his engineering job. One of his main concerns has been the impact that fact would have on this custody hearing. After seven long months of unemployment, he was able to secure a position with a government facility, has moved his family back home, and purchased a new home. Being the Grandma--I love this. The grandkids are closer, which affords them easy access to cousins, friends, and "home".

The custody hearing begins today and I have no idea where it will lead. Here are a few of the facts being presented at the hearing:

Steven's reading level (in one year) has gone from 2.2 to 4.8. He is reading at grade level and some of his reading skills are at a 7th grade level (Steven is in 5th grade).
Steven does extremely well in math and science but struggles a bit with spelling. He has transitioned into this new school with no problems whatsoever. He visited with his attorney and reported that he wants to "see" his mother but wants to live with his dad. "He needs to live with his dad." (his own words) He is active in scouts, has made lots of new friends in the short time since the move, he loves his new school and teacher. Steven is no longer taking the FIVE medications he brought to UT with him. His weight remains constant. Other than the "pull" to mom, he's a happy, healthy, normal 11 year old boy. BTW: Patty has not paid her "back child support", does not call Steven (the judge made provisions for one call a week), and other than an occasional package has made no attempt to contact him. She has however "stalked" the principal at Steven's last school--did an internet search on him, called his private cell phone number at his home on the weekend, and placed persistent calls to him at work. This continued even after Steven was pulled from that school and placed in his current school. When the principal questioned Keith on this behavior, Keith just grinned and said, "Welcome to my world."

I'll be sure to keep you updated as soon as I have anything to report. Say your prayers and thanks for your interest.

C.B.

No News

I've been receiving questions regarding updates to the custody hearing. Another hearing was scheduled for the middle of October but was only scheduled for ONE DAY! After the last hearing where Patty's lawyer used up all the time with "legalese", Keith requested that a TWO day hearing be scheduled. The earliest that can be done is the 5th & 6th of November (I believe). So that's where it stands for now. It's pretty quiet on the home front but that will change about a week before the hearing. Will keep you posted if anything new develops. Thanks again for all your interest. Say your prayers folks, we're going to need them.
C.B.

Good News from the Barker Family

Well, even though it isn't about the custody hearing, there is good news from the Barker family. Keith's former employer went through massive "downsizing" the first of the year, and Keith was one of those cuts. On Friday he got a call asking him to come in for what Keith "assumed" would be an interview. It was no interview--they were hiring him. Apparently they'd seen his resume and wanted him now. He was so confused. He thought he would go through the interviewing process but when they started processing paperwork on him--he was stunned! He was picked up this morning in a government car (he won't have his security clearance for months) and driven to his new place of work. His head is spinning but he's so thankful. We know that this will work in his favor when the second (of who knows how many) custody hearing begins. Of course we're all on our knees thanking God that he finally has a job. It's been a long, stressful seven months but things are looking up a bit. Maybe we'll be just as lucky with the next hearing. Thank you so much for your interest and your prayers. Keep 'em coming--they're working. God Bless!
C.B.

Our Legal System at it's FINEST!

Well, no surprises here! The hearing was an amazingly big waste of time, money, resources, tax-payer dollars, and energy. I cannot express to you how livid I am at this moment. After months of legal wrangling, untold amounts of money spent, and an extreme amount of emotional stress, we are back to square one! The hearing was only scheduled for one day. Half of that day was spent arguing over whether the hearing was "legal" or not. Can you believe it? Patty's attorney felt her client hadn't been given her "due process" in the hearing held last October. Most of the morning was spent trying to decide whether this hearing was "legal". Ridiculous! The judge kept telling her that she was arguing about things that had already been ruled on but she kept at it. I believe "legal gobble-dee-gook" is the technical term for it. During the afternoon Keith spent most of his time on the witness stand. Patty's attorney wasted most of the time with trivial "legalese"--therefore there was no time to get to the "real" issues at hand. Basically, there was nothing decided! The only new ruling that came from the hearing is that Steven now has his own attorney. Gloria Winston, the former guardian ad litem on the case, is now the attorney of record for Steven. So Steven is "lawyered up", Keith is "lawyered up", and Patty is "lawyered up". As Beth said, "Oh good! Another attorney on the payroll." Since Gloria is now Steven's attorney, a new "Guardian ad Litem" was assigned to the case--hence we start all over with a new player in the game. They scheduled another glorious hearing the first week in October. More $$$!

Is anyone besides me totally fed up with how our government works today? There is not one person in the case who doesn't know exactly where Steven should be placed! But we play the game! A very costly, non-productive, and insane game! If you think that these types of cases do not affect you--think again! We ALL pay for these court cases. They tie up our legal system, waste your tax dollars, and suck our system dry!

Where is Steven now? He's spending the morning visiting with his mom, maternal grandparents and his new attorney and guardian ad litem. This afternoon he will do the same thing all over again with his father, paternal grandfather, his new attorney and the new guardian ad litem. And what will we have accomplished! Absolutely NOTHING! Sorry folks! Wish I could give you better news--and I wish I could be more optimistic about our legal system. I think Shakespeare said it best: "First thing . . . lets kill all the lawyers." Seems their reputation has been around for quite some time--and it's not going to change in the future.

My brother (who went through a nasty divorce) had a cartoon framed and mounted on his wall. In the middle of the cartoon was a big cow--the wife was pulling on it's head; the husband was pulling on the tail. And the lawyer was sitting in the middle . . milking the cow! Pretty much says it all!

BTW: Steven's Uncle was found "not guilty" on the sexual charges leveled against him. Another shining moment for our legal system. I have no doubt he was guilty! Keep your children close!

Flying East--No Vacation!

Well, the custody hearing is TOMORROW! As I blog, my husband, son and grandson are flying east to participate in this most important hearing. There has been lots of last minute legal maneuvering (which I hate), depositions, conference calls, and anxiety this week. Steven's doctor and psychologist were both deposed over the phone yesterday. On the other end of the phone was Keith's attorney, Patty's attorney, and Gloria Winston--the guardian ad litem. The depositions were scheduled to take approximately 1/2 hour each but ended up running over five hours. Naturally Patty's attorney attempted to discredit Steven's doctor and therapist but was unable to do so. This new attorney is still under the assumption that her client is telling her the truth. Can't wait to see what happens there. One of the newest stories to come from Patty's attorney is this: Patty told her that when she brought Steven back to Utah this summer she fell on an escalator in the airport. Although others gathered round her and insisted that she go to the hospital to be checked, she knew she had to get her son to his dad so she continued on her way. We happen to know this is bogus because there is NO escalator in the area of the airport in which she supposedly fell. Had this happened Steven would surely have told his dad--he was upset at having to "leave" his mother because she had no one to take care of her. (He's 10 years old and feels he needs to take care of his mother.) Patty lays a heavy dose of guilt on Steven's shoulders each time she sees him--verifiable by Steven's psychologist. The hearing starts at 9:00 a.m. eastern time on August 20, but the judge doesn't have to make a ruling until the middle of October. It's frustrating I know, but we want to make sure he has all his "ducks in a row" because this will certainly go to an appeals court. Thanks once again for your interest.

BTW: On the latest poll, Patty said ALL of the items on the right. She promised her son that if he said all the things she wanted him to say, she'd buy him six Siberian Huskies and they would race them. When asked if he really thought she would do that he said, "No, I don't think we have enough money to do that." It's coming--very slowly! Where does she get this stuff?

UPDATE

FYI: The Florida Supreme Court threw out Patty's motion to remove Judge Hartert from the case--which is TERRIFIC! Judge Hartert will preside over the custody hearing which is scheduled for August 20.

Steven just returned last night from a one month visit with his mother in Florida. Naturally, he came home messed up again. He had also gained ten pounds while there. When asked what he ate he said, "Donuts, pop . . . and some green beans." Keith feels like he's constantly swimming upstream. He's got ten days to undo the damage before they return to Florida for the custody hearing. Of course, Keith will document as much as he can before the hearing, which means trips to doctors, psychologists, etc. The weight gain is one thing, but what this mother does to her son's head is quite another.

I omitted an incident from my writings as I believed that it did not necessarily have any bearing on Steven's progress. I must include it at this point to demonstrate how Patty uses any situation to twist her young son into knots.

Last summer Steven's 27-year-old Uncle Clint (Mandy's husband), a former corrections officer, was arrested and charged with "gross sexual imposition" in an incident with a 5 year old girl--a "friend of the family". Now, I have no idea what that means, but I know it isn't good. At that time the police had in their posession a pair of pajamas, blankets and one boxed rape kit. I also know that his own 5 year old daughter was removed from the home at that point and was placed in foster care--where she will stay until after the trial (which incidentally is the same week as the custody hearing--the Jenkins' are going to be one busy family). When Steven was told that Missy was in foster care, his loving mother Patty also told him that Missy was in foster care because Steven was in Utah. If he lived in Florida, Missy would be allowed to live with her mommy and daddy again! Believe it or not--she had him convinced of this. No matter what happens in the Jenkins family, if it's bad, it's because Steven lives with his dad.

What would you do if you were Keith? How do you combat all those lies? Steven loves his mother, and no child wants to believe that his mother lies to him. How do you get to the truth without putting Steven on the defensive where his mother is concerned? It's quite a balancing act, and Keith is living it everyday. Say your prayers--especially for the judge! His wisdom is crucial in this custody battle. Thanks for your interest.

C.B.

If Uncle Clint is found guilty of the charges against him I will post all the newspaper information regarding this case. Stay tuned!

Updates Forthcoming!

I have been receiving lots of request for updates to this story and I promise I will get them posted as soon as I have correct facts to post. Ms. Carole Barker has had an extremely busy year. We moved into a different house, just had a wedding for our last child, and have been trying to put in a garden, yard,and trees, etc. So folks--it's coming! I must be getting older and I'm definitely getting "slower". Catch ya later!

C.B.

Custody Hearing "POSTPONED"

Well, I have lost track of the number of motions flying around for this upcoming custody hearing. But the BIG ONE is the motion to remove Judge Hartert from the case. This motion has to be heard by the Florida State Supreme Court. ERGHHH! As of today, three days before the hearing was supposed to have taken place, we just received word that the hearing will be postponed until the Florida Supreme Court has had a chance to rule on whether or not Judge Hartert will be removed from the case. Once again, Patty has a slew of people "on hold" while she spins, manipulates, maneuvers and plays her little games. This could have been filed months ago but she waited until the last minute--putting everyone on hold. Judge Hartert, Gloria Winston, Tess Woodward, Deena Gooding, not to mention Keith, dad, and Steven (who have already purchased plane tickets totally over $1800.00) are all now left wondering when this hearing will take place.

Without realizing it, Patty unintentionally also postponed her month-long visit with her son. Judge Hartert had previously ruled that Steven would be allowed to spend one month with his mom AFTER the custody hearing. Since that has been postponed, so will Steven's trip to Florida. He was really disappointed as he was anxious to go "home" and see his family and friends. But what does that matter? Nothing matters but the fight. Optimistically, we're hoping that the supreme court will make it's ruling quickly and that the hearing will be scheduled within the next month. But who knows? Just try to figure out how much money, time and effort will be wasted on the legal maneuvers. Where does she get the money? I will never understand it! Keith and Beth are barely able to keep their heads above water with their legal bills mounting. Steven will never know how hard his father has fought to protect him. Nor will he ever understand the amount of money time and effort has gone into protecting him from his mother. Is that a good thing or not? I don't know.

FYI: Keith's attorney has filed approximately SIX "contempt of court" charges against Patty; including failure to pay child support, failure to refund Keith's "overpayment" of child support, and others regarding her complete disregard for Judge Hartert's court orders. Don't you hate it? I'm thinking a little jail time would go a long way in teaching Patty that rules ARE for her! Our legal system is a complete mess and you and I are paying for it! But that's just MY opinion!

Motions So Far . . .

Ok kids! Sixty-six percent of you guessed that Patty would have six or more motions for this upcoming hearing. So far we have a total of four! They are:

1. Motion to terminate temporary custody
2. Motion to appoint an attorney for Steven
3. Motion to disqualify Judge Hartert
4. Motion for (and this is my personal favorite) all parties, spouses and child, to receive a psychological exam.

Yep! That's right! She thinks Keith and Beth need psychological evaluations. She's offered to undergo an exam herself in order to get that motion carried through. As for Steven, he's had several already, and he's passed with flying colors.

No surprises here--Patty's attorney is on the attack! She wants Tess removed from the case because she's "impartial--therefore, ineffective"; Gloria Winston is also impartial and can no longer be objective. She claims that while Ms. Winston was in Utah to evaluate the Barker residence, Gloria had dinner with the family and it was a social event. She's in for a surprise when Ms. Winston testifies. According to Keith, Gloria would not even accept a drink of water for them. She was merely there to observe and remained "on the job" for the entire visit. They also want to remove Judge Hartert . . . I suppose he's impartial as well. One thing that was totally absent was any concern regarding Steven's "medical issues". This has been the biggest "weapon" Patty has held over Keith for years. For a child so chronically ill, she no longer seems concerned about Steven's health--how odd! So, we'll see what happens. We have no idea where this is headed but it's obviously clear that Patty's attorney is trying to change the playing field. She's going from defense to offense. If they can put EVERYONE on the defensive end, it will serve as a smoke screen for the real issue of the case which is--as we all know--Patty's inability to make wise/safe choices in regards to the care of her son. Say your prayers please. It terrifies me to think that Steven will once again be placed in Patty's care and all the progress this young boy has made to this point, will be undone within a few days. Please pray!

P.S. I have nothing but respect and admiration for the professional people helping with this case. They are "personally" unknown to me but I thank God every day for their dedication, their strength, and their determination to do their jobs and protect this young boy. God bless you all!

And so it begins--again

Things have been relatively quiet since Steven's last visit with his mother during Spring Break in March. Since that visit Steven has not received one package from his doting mother. Patty also decided to terminate her phone calls with Steven as they were costing her too much money. (True situation: She was court ordered to make the phone calls from the Visitation Center where she cannot manipulate Steven or the staff. What's the point in that?) But now that the custody hearing is scheduled for July 6th & 7th, she has requested that the phone calls begin again. She has set up her first phone call for next Monday afternoon (even that was not without a battle with Tess at the center). Here's the real story: The custody hearing is in three weeks. She's hired a new attorney (femi-nazi--hates men) who practices in Miami (Patty's no longer able to hire within the county--must travel 1.5 hours to find an attorney who's never heard of her). I suppose this attorney has informed her that she must at least "appear" to take an interest in Steven. They've filed a motion that the judge appoint an attorney to represent Steven. Apparently they feel that the G.A.L., Gloria Winston (an attorney herself) is not able to adequately determine Steven's best interest. She also filed an emergency motion with the court that Patty be allowed to retrieve Steven by June 11 in order for him to attend a family reunion. Some emergency! Motion denied--the judge ordered Keith to bring Steven to Florida with him for the hearing the first week in July. Are you confused? You should be! You should also be outraged. This is the kind of garbage that ties up our courts and costs you money! Who has an emergency family reunion? No one!

Yes, the battle lines are being drawn and things are definitely heating up. Each day there's a new development, each day some ridiculous claim or request, and the attorneys representing both parties are gearing up for the fight ahead. Naturally, Keith feels he has the best chance at full custody, but you never know what a judge will do. The facts regarding Steven are these: Steven's weight is down from 125 to 104 (that's a lot of weight on a 10 year old). Steven is doing well (three A's, one C) in the 4th grade--no longer in resource. Steven is no longer on any medications and has never once had an attack of any kind. Steven's psychologist says there's no need for her to keep seeing Steven as he's doing amazingly well. Steven enjoys being part of a larger family and loves to do things with his sisters. I could go on but those are the most important facts. Keep posted as I'm sure there will be new updates from now until the custody hearing. Thanks for your interest!

C.B.

An "interesting" sidenote: Steven's Uncle James (a corrections officer and husband to Patty's sister Mandy) was arrested for "gross sexual imposition" with a 5 year old girl. He's pleaded innocent and the pre-trial hearing is set for the exact same day as the custody battle. Who would have guessed?

In-consequential poll!

I thought we'd all like a little light-hearted break from the "heavy" subject matter of "crazies, socios, sicko's" and legal gobble-d-gook! So here's a poll for you! It's a poll regarding your shopping likes and dis-likes. I for one, stand four-square against these "self-checkout" lanes at the stores. I must not be the only one as most of those lanes are EMPTY while I stand in line behind a mother with seven screaming kids and a grocery cart that would feed the Green Bay Packers! Rather than fumble with my items, punch a picture/button system only understandable to a two-year-old, and a "money" system with a dozen slots, dispensers, swipes, and confusing directions, I'll wait my turn for a real cashier. SHE knows what she's doing.

Gotta' Take a Break!

I know I've been remiss in writing for my Crush Blog--but sometimes a gal just has to take a break. Things have been relatively quiet on this side of CRAZY, so there hasn't been much to write about. You've once again proven yourselves to be pretty smart as 77% of you were correct on the last poll. Pseudologica Fantasica presents itself in ALL of those characteristics. Charming, eh? And our girl fits that category to a T. On to the next challenge which is the custody hearing which will be held July 6th & 7th. Keith and Dad are flying back and will spend two days in court trying to persuade the judge that Keith is the better parent for Steven. Say your prayers and keep your fingers crossed for them! I'll post on my website as soon as anything happens. Thanks for checking in!

C.B.

P.S. The book sales have helped quite a bit with expenses for this next court hearing, so I just want to give all of you a tremendous THANK YOU for your support, friendship, and concern!

ASK ME!

I certainly enjoyed visiting the book clubs in Billings Montana. It was fun, entertaining, educational, and I enjoyed it immensely! If you have a book club and would like to discuss the subjects of sociopaths OR Munchausen by Proxy, feel free to contact me and we'll see if we can arrange something! I found it quite to my liking and would love to share the little bit of knowledge I've gained during the last 11 years dealing with Patty. Have a good one!
C.B.

We're Back!

Well, the Old Duffer and I had a wonderful trip to beautiful Montana. We thoroughly enjoyed the drive, the CLEAN hotel, and the shopping (yep--I spent way too much). But mostly I enjoyed meeting some fantastic people and discussing the book with them. It was fun to meet people who had read the book, but did not personally know the family. I felt a bit "scrutinized". When reading a book everyone has their own personal mental image of the characters. I have no doubt I was not what others imagined me to be. Just a plain old grandma who loves her kids and grandkids. But the conversation was lively, the company extremely pleasant, and the food at these book clubs was fantastic! Thank you so much ladies, for making my visit such a rewarding one. I hope you learned a lot, as I did--and that you'll keep reading and learning about Munchausen by Proxy! I want to extend a special great big THANK YOU to Ruth, Anthony, Eliza, Craig, and Emma for their support, hospitality, kindness, and terrific "hugs" (miss you already Eliza). Life certainly is full of adventure and we feel we just had a wonderful one! Thanks Again!
C.B.

Carole Barker Goes to Montana

After being chastized for not posting more often I'm trying to think of something to write about. Ms. Carole Barker is heading to Montana tomorrow to speak with two different book clubs. I must say that I'm getting a bit nervous as I've never done this before. One of the clubs consists of medical personnel who--by their very definition--are much smarter than C.B. I sincerely look forward to chatting with them about Munchausen by Proxy. They are in the difficult position of having to watch for signs of abuse--and it's not easily detected. Munchausen mom's play the game exceptionally well. So wish me luck, and off I go!
C.B.

Best Gammie!

It was my privilege to have the Keith Barker family here for a short visit over the weekend. On a previous visit, in an attempt to help Steven with his reading and writing, we held "school". I photo-copied penmanship pages and the kids were assigned to do their best work. For each excellent page they did, they received a quarter out of Gammie's stash. Once they did four pages, they were allowed to exchange their four quarters for a golden Sacajawea dollar. They thought that was great fun and now want to have school each time they come. I was really busy yesterday and Brooke wanted to hold school again. I told them to write a "theme" while I did my "home study"--a.k.a.--dishes. Never being one to miss an opportunity for self-aggrandizement, I assigned the topic "My Gammie is the Best". What a wonderful subject matter. The kids giggled and had fun with the assignment. But the real joy came when reading Steven's writings.

Steven's Theme:
"My Gammie is the best in my family. She makes blankets for us and she "said's" when you put your head under the blanket you'll "remeber" me. She has a big house and has a slide door for the back door. She has a flat screen. I love you "Gramda". Love Steven."

Kids remember what you teach them--especially when it's done with love! The fact that Steven still talks about making the blankets tells me that I'm on the right track! Agree?

Fun first!

Well, 69% of you were correct in the last quiz I posted. While Steven was in Florida his mother bought him a new bicycle (his 3rd this year), a new trampoline, and a Wii with TEN new games! (As my brother said . . . "In my next life can I be her little boy?@#$%?) Steven was home for a total of one week and that stuff is just sitting at the Jenkin's home collecting dust. And we're still waiting for the first child support check. It's good to know that Patty has her priorities straight. Most adults I know spend their money on toys first, and pay their bills last . . . NOT!
C.B.

W-A-C-K-Y

Patty's unpredictability is one of the hardest things for the
Barker family to deal with. You think you've got all the bases covered and she throws you a curve ball. The correct answer to the most recent poll was #1. Before returning Steven to Utah, Patty's flight schedule also included a second ticket in her name--routing from Florida and ending in Denver. What? This flight occurred at the exact same time as the original flight. So immediately our imaginations clicked into high gear as we tried to guess what she was planning. The most likely scenario was that Steven would have some type of medical emergency while in Denver--and Patty would have him admitted to the nearest emergency facility. We lined up for "battle stations". But . . . the dumb girl delivered Steven right to Utah, got back on a plane and headed straight to Florida. Go figure! Now, would any of you have anticipated that? Neither did we #$%*@!

Only 21% of you guessed correctly on the last poll. Not so easy is it? I've provided a new quiz for you to take and we'll see if you do any better with this one. Good luck!
C.B.

How Well Do You Know Our Star?

I just wanted to give you a little "heads up" that I have updated the website with facts regarding the last couple of weeks dealing with our lovely Patty. Since the story is too long and I had to leave out some of the best parts, I've provided a new poll to see if you can correctly guess which "crazy" behavior Patty actually did. You're a pretty smart bunch of readers but here again . . . how do you explain CRAZY? Thanks for your interest and support. (BTW--this poll is only for people who already don't know the story--so Barker family--BEHAVE!)
C.B.

Back to the Drawing Board!

I guess we're all going to have to change our vote! As I said in the book, "You just can't predict crazy!" You can plan, think, and speculate, but Patty will always surprise you! Guess who returned her son to his dad without police, doctors, or drama? That's right, Miss Patty! She must have been having an off week! The damage to Steven was very much in evidence, however. In one week she managed to "undo" all of Keith and Beth's hard work. He left Utah grinning and claiming he was a "young man--not a baby". But upon his return he was once again the "boobing, whiny" child his mommy wants him to be. I think we were all a bit disappointed that she didn't take off with Steven--that would have sealed her fate as a parent. But don't think for one minute that Patty has had a "change of heart"--she's just biding her time for the most opportune moment and we'll be off chasing her again! As soon as I'm able I'll be adding another chapter to the website and tell you all the details of Steven's departure--it was NOT without drama. What an adventure!
C.B.

Poll Results!

Well, you little bunch of cynics! Would you believe that 90% of you believe that Keith will most likely have to fly to Florida to retrieve Steven? And 10% of you believe that it's a sure thing! So, we'll see! I can tell you that there are LOTS of eyes following this story this week. From Utah to Florida (even some followers outside of the United States) are waiting to see what happens. Nope--still can't tell you yet what's going on. Once we get Steven back safe and sound, I'll fill you in. In the meantime, here's a new poll for you. Have fun!
C.B.

He's Gone

Ok Crush fans--Patty flew to Utah, picked Steven up, and has returned to Florida. I can't give you the details yet (Keith's orders), but I promise to let you in on the events of the last few days as soon as I can. We're waiting to see what happens at the end of the week. I guarantee it will not be disappointing. Stay tuned!
C.B.

Here We Go . . .

We are fast approaching the day that Patty arrives in Utah to retrieve her son Steven for Spring Break. It's anybody's guess what will happen. Patty arrives late tomorrow (Friday) night and flies back to Florida early Saturday morning with Steven. I'm sure that Steven will be happy to see his mom, I know he's missed her. Naturally she's demanding Steven's medical records and does not want him entering the plane without his "medicine" in case of an emergency. Steven has been off his meds for a long time now with no sign whatsoever of illness. By the time he comes back, if he does, there's no doubt in my mind that he'll be back on medication. Let's hope she "cooks her own goose" again--she's an expert at that! IDIOTO! Keep your fingers crossed! Thanks for your interest!
C.B.

Still Waiting

We're still waiting for that first child support check. Patty is pleading poverty (Naturally--please check out the following Valentine's Day photos). After much legal wrangling Patty's "back child support" will be paid off by the year 2013. That's approximately $1,940.00 spread out over the next FOUR YEARS! I want that kind of payment on my credit cards! YIKES!
C.B.

Poll Results

Ok guys! I just wanted to give you the results of my latest poll. 81% of you believe that Patty will claim that Steven had another psychological meltdown while in Florida. 45% of you believe that Patty will claim that Steven was physically or sexually abused while he was in Utah. But here's the interesting number--0% of you believe that Patty will come and get Steven and return him to Utah without any type of outside intervention. You're pretty smart! I'm proud of you. The visit comes during spring break and Patty has already implied that she won't have to return Steven at the end of the visit. I'll be sure to keep you posted. Keith is already planning on flying out there to retrieve his son. It's almost a "given". Stay with me--I enjoy the support.
C.B.

Terrific Review!

It just occurred to me that I have never posted this great review I got from Dr. Marc D. Feldman. Dr. Feldman is the nation's leading expert on Munchausen and after reading CRUSH, he sent me this review via email. I thought it appropriate to pass it along.

"I just finished reading CRUSH and have rarely been so enthusiastic about a book. It is extremely powerful and well-written, and does a better job than most textbooks in depicting the realities of Munchausen by proxy abuse and antisocial personality disorder (sociopathy). I have already recommended it in response to a couple of inquiries about MBP and find it more powerful even than Julie Gregory's best-selling memoir, Sickened. It took me a while to read because I had to interrupt the reading when I found myself too filled with rage or sadness at the lies and abuse perpetrated by "Patty." I can only hope that "Keith" continues to prevail in court.

Over the years, quite a few people have told me that they intended to write books about their disturbing and life-altering experiences with MBP, but few really do, perhaps because the memories are too painful. It is clear in your case that writing is a therapeutic tool and your readers will be the beneficiaries.

Congratulations on a fine job."

Marc D. Feldman, M.D.
Clinical Professor of Psychiatry
Adjunct Professor of Psychology
The University of Alabama
Tuscaloosa, Alabama

I'm Back!

Ok, the house is "somewhat" put together although I'm still trying to find my favorite sewing items. I should have personally put them in the car with me so I wouldn't loose track of them. Anyway, we're in the new house and loving it. I'll get back into the swing of things with a new poll. By now, you all know Patty pretty well. Let's see how accurate you are in the "guessing game" played by the entire Barker family.
C.B.

Out of Commission

I just wanted to inform you that Ms. Carole Barker and that old duffer she lives with will be off the internet for a couple of days. We're in the process of moving and I have no idea when we'll get hooked up again. But keep checking and I'll let you know as things develop. Thanks for reading!
C.B.

Good For You!

Wow Readers--I'm SO PROUD OF YOU! On my poll regarding sociopaths and the #1 way to tell if you're dating one, you got 100%! That means you're paying attention. And for your reward I have provided you with a game to play. (Actually, I just figured out how to do this so ENJOY!)

BTW: Nothing new on that battlefront. However, we hear that Patty thinks she's going to get custody of Steven when she has him for spring break in March. Wouldn't it be great if somebody ended up in jail? We can only hope!

C.B.

Deprived!

I think Patty must have felt she was "deprived" as a child. I highly doubt that she was; but she seems to equate buying all that "stuff" with good parenting. I'm sure she feels that her parents didn't do right by her so she's not going to make the same mistake with Steven. He's only 10. How full will the house be by the time he's 18?

It's only Valentine's Day!

Ok CRUSH fans--here's another update. As you know, we just celebrated another major holiday here in the U.S. And it was??? Yep--Valentine's Day. If you're lucky you got a card from you sweetie. OR if you were extra sweet this year maybe you got to go out to dinner OR even somewhere for an overnight get-away. OR, if you happen to be 10 and have a CRAZY mother--you get STUFF! If you enjoyed the Christmas photos, here are the lastest gifts Steven received from his "mommy" for Valentine's Day. And of course, she left the price tags on everything. For her own amusement, Sweet Beth counted up the number of $$$ spent of this collection of JUNK! It totalled over $460.00. I know! I know! It's just junk--it can't have added up to all of that. But this isn't regular junk. Most of it was "special delivery" junk--delivered by the local florist. Three different trips to be exact. Lucky Steven you may be thinking! But when you were a 10-year-old boy, did you really want your mommy delivering a large stuffed penguin (with 12 attached balloons) to you at your school in front of your friends? Didn't think so! And, that dollar amount didn't take into consideration the amount of money spent on shipping. Steven got three big boxes last week alone, not to mention cards, cards, and more cards coming in the mail.

On to the next question you have forming in your mind? Nope, they haven't received one cent of child support. But Steven . . . Steven thinks he's got the best "mommy" in the world. A decent guy just can't win!

C.B.

(Be sure to click on the images to see what all those treasures really are. You'll see macaroni and cheese, kleenex, pop, Campbell's soup, magazines, and several of those little milar balloons on sticks. Now, what are Keith and Beth to tell their girls about "gift giving"? Kind of makes you sick, doesn't it?)

My Review of CRUSH

Chaos.com

When Mormon missionary Keith Barker meets Patty Jenkins, he is unaware that one step inside her home will catapult him into the life of an accomplished sociopath. Patty's life story includes rape, abuse, abandonment and alcoholic parents. She is in desperate need of a good friend. Keith's e...

CRUSH

Captivating--a must read!

mbpbuster northeast USA 2/15/2009

 

5 5

Pros: Deeply Informative, Well Written, Innovative Ideas, Rich Resource, Easy To Understand

Best Uses: Educational, Older Readers

Describe Yourself: Everyday Reader

I thought I'd read a few pages and before I knew it, I had read the whole book. Easy reading, informative, entertaining, insightful, and educational. The writer posts updates to the story on her website at www.carolebarker.com. You can also check her blog http://carolescorner-crush.blogspot.com/

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False Alarm

Well, this girl just keeps us guessing. Once again Patty is playing mind games with the entire Barker family. She kept dropping hints to everyone that something big was going to happen. She told Steven that he was going to be "so happy". She had requested that she get one weekend in February with Steven. So the Barker family was gearing up for a surprise visit . . . and it never happened. She just loves to push our buttons. I can't tell you how unnerving it is. While we're relieved that she didn't come, she still had the ability to set us all on edge. I'm sure that was her intention all along. It will never end. I guarantee she'll show up when we least expect it. She's nuts!

www.carolebarker.com

Surprise Visit???

Hold onto your hats . . . indications are that we may be getting a surprise visit from the ever-lovely Ms. Patty Barker. The hair on the back of my neck is standing straight up and I have a knot in the pit of my stomach. Seriously, the Barker family is half-way expecting a surprise visit from their own personal crazy this weekend. She's not told anyone specifically that she's coming but she keeps sending out these little hints that she may just show up. Naturally, I told Keith and Beth they should just take off for the weekend but Keith refuses to be "ousted" from his own home. Keep checking in for updates! If no updates are forthcoming, check the "obits" for the name Barker (not to be dramatic or anything, but you never can tell what's coming when dealing with this one). I'll keep you posted as soon as I know anything! Thanks for reading!

C.B.

His Own Identity

A few weeks before Christmas Beth was surprised to see Steven coming out of the bathroom with his head dripping wet. "Steven, how come your head is wet?" she asked. "I want a different hairstyle," was the answer. Beth tried to help, but Steven's hair was uncompromising. At Christmas time Steven found hair gel and a new comb in his stocking and he's been working on a new "do" ever since. Seeing pictures of Steven, Patty would ask him over the phone, "Do you want mommy to send you money for a haircut? It seems like Daddy Keith isn't taking good care of you." "No mom. I just want different hair." "But mommy thinks you need a haircut. Let mommy send you money for a haircut." "No mom, I'm O.K." After letting Steven's hair grow for a short time, Keith got out the clippers and gave him a brand new look. Steven was grinning from ear to ear.

Now this may not sound "blog-worthy", but for us it's a very positive sign. For the first time in his life Steven is being allowed to create his own identity. He's gradually getting strong enough to say "no" to his mother, and he's deciding who Steven really is. Isn't it wonderful? I love it!

All in a Day's Work!

The Keith Barker family had a visitor this weekend. Now this wasn't a social visit; it was a "fact-finding" visit. Ms. Gloria Winston (the Guardian ad Litem for Steven) flew across the country to do a home study on Steven while in Utah. Keith was anxious for this visit to take place as he wanted Ms. Winston to observe Steven's demeanor while in the custody of his father. Ms.Winston scheduled an appointment at the school to meet with Steven's teachers. She also spent a couple of hours with the family physician discussing Steven's health care. (As mentioned previously, Steven is now off of all SIX medications that he was taking when he arrived here.) She then visited the Barker household for most of the day on Saturday. Keith said it was a pleasant visit and he had no concerns whatsoever regarding the findings.

Now if I were to hire an attorney for myself, I believe I would hire Ms. Winston. She really ought to be playing in Poker Tournaments around the world. She'd make a killing. She has the ability to talk with you for hours and not once will you be able to guess what she's thinking. We won't know her thoughts and recommendations until they're made public at the custody hearing in June.

http://www.carolebarker.com/

SCHOOL

Just a little update on Steven's progress in Utah. He's been going to school in Garden City for about three months now and is doing very well. He is trying hard to catch up but convincing him that he's behind has been the hardest part of all. For Steven's entire life, Patty has convinced teachers that he is "special" and incapable of learning. So he's been raised to think that if it's hard--he just doesn't have to do it. Patty has full access to Steven's teachers while he's in Utah and once again, she has pulled the "pity play" on the resource room teacher. They've had long chats about what's best for Steven, and Keith is at his wits end trying to convince this teacher that mom is crazy! Patty's good--we know that from experience! Keith feels like he's just making a little progress with Steven at home, sends him to school and the teacher won't enforce that "you can do it" mentality. And of course, Steven has become an expert at "sizing up" the authority figure in his life. So at school we have one set of standards, and at home a whole different set. Sometimes it feels like you just can't win. BTW: He's doing exceptionally well in science and math--which tells me--this kid is no dummie! But then, what do I know? I'm just the Grandma! :0)

C.B.
P.S. No--changing teachers is not an option . . . small school, one teacher! Oh well, there's always next year.

WHAT TO DO?

After dealing with Patty for the last eleven years, one of the things that weighs on me the most is the fact that she still works with infants and children. She's a registered nurse, and sometimes nurses also have the same propensity with their patients as Munchausen mother's have with their children. Patty works in her local health department in Webster County. I find it hard to believe that others working with her haven't already noticed that she's "not quite right". Since she no longer has physical access to Steven, I worry that she may find new victims in order to feed her need for attention and adulation. I have tried to figure out the best way to handle this. My wise Aunt Shirley said that this is one battle I can not fight; my closeness to the situation compromises my objectivity. Rather, I should leave it to the doctors and professionals involved to expose her for the "crazy" she is. I need your help readers. Any words of advice? I know you're smart--you already ready my blog :0)
C.B.
http://www.carolebarker.com/

Grazie!

I just have to say THANK YOU to all of you who are following this story on a regular basis. The blog is getting hits several times a day, as well as my website. So thank you, thank you, thank you and keep up the good work. I hope you're telling your friends about the book and talking it up. We've got a long ways to go before the June custody hearing. A thousand blessings on your home!
C.B.
http://www.carolebarker.com/

Third Time "Isn't a Charm"

Since the middle of October when Keith was granted custody of Steven, Patty's new attorney has filed a motion once a month to try to overturn Judge Hartert's ruling. The first and second petitions were "denied" based on the fact that Keith was only given temporary custody--the custody issue will be readdressed in June. In other words, courts are unwilling to overturn a temporary order. But Patty, having received that response twice just filed a third petition claiming the same "poor me" issues. This time the court ruled that they would NEVER hear this motion, and to stop petitioning. They ruled to leave the order as it stood until the scheduled hearing in June 2009.

Einstein said it best when he stated, "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Three Pictures . . .

They say that "one picture is worth a thousand words!" Well, how about three? These photos are of Steven's bedroom in Florida where his Christmas and birthday gifts are waiting for him. The room is filled with two Christmas trees, wrapped packages, new stuffed animals, cd players, tvs, at least one live cat and one dog (what about all those allergies?), and one crazy mother. There is a two foot path from the doorway into the bedroom; the rest of the room is filled to overflowing with "stuff". I first saw these photos and thought "It's Toys for Tots"! And what's more--Steven couldn't care less about all of it. And remember, this is a mother who claims to be close to bankruptcy; she can't afford Steven's medicine. To me, this is obscene! Any other words enter your mind? I'd love to hear them!

Gotta Shove that Medicine at Him!

Keith and Beth got a call from the school one day regarding a package they had received from Steven's biological mother. When they opened the package, it was full of medicine. This created quite a problem for the small grade school. They are not legally allowed to give medicine to any of their students. Keith was livid and at the school in a flash. He told them that under no circumstances were they to give Steven any medicine. Steven was already under the care of the family physician who was slowly weaning him off the 6 prescriptions Steven had been taking. Patty was trying to bypass Keith AND the family physician by going directly to the school. The school had already checked with their legal advisor. He recommended that they keep the medicine at the school for liability purposes. If they sent the medicine back to Patty, and Steven had some type of medical emergency, she would probably sue them for not taking proper steps to protect him. But, if they gave Steven the medicine, Keith would probably sue them. So on the "advice of counsel", they decided to keep the medicine at the school. The package is sitting up the desk of the school secretary. Keith warned them that if they accepted that one package from Patty, they would be getting many more packages from her in the future. The school has decided that they will not accept any more packages from Patty and will turn them away when they come.

Steven is currently off all SIX medications that he was on when Keith and Beth got custody. Steven has been extremely nervous about the fact that he is not taking any pills. He's afraid he's going to die. Keith has had to convince him that, "The only GOOD pill, is one you DON'T have to take." Keith is still working on it.

BETH

Trying to shave calories from Steven's diet has been one of Beth's main goals while they have custody of Steven. She allows him to eat whatever he wants but maintains a tight control on snacks. For example: If he wants cake he gets 1/2 a slice; or, he gets a piece with most of the frosting scraped off. If he wants milk, he gets non-fat milk. You get the idea! Steven isn't quite sure what's going on but he knows he needs to get permission from Beth for the snacks he's allowed to eat. This was evident last summer when he was introduced for the first time to "baby carrots". He'd never eaten them before and wasn't sure if he wanted to try them. After a couple of bites he looked up at Beth and said, "These are good! How many of them do I get?" We all laughed as she sheepishly told him he could have as many as he wants.

A small side-note to this process: As Beth and I got in the car last summer to go somewhere (I forget where), the first words out of her mouth were, "Quick! I need junk food!" We made a mad dash to the local convenience store where we bought a bag of Cheetos and a large Dr. Pepper. Steven's not the only one "suffering" from his diet. SORRY BETH--couldn't resist!

Two of the STUPIDEST things!

Two of the stupidest things that Patty has ever said have been ringing in my head for weeks. The only way to get them out of my head is to write them down. So here goes:

Stupid thing #1:
"Steven has a hard time wiping himself because his 'arms are too short'."

Stupid thing #2:
"Steven is obese because his body stores everything because he does not sleep well at night." (Gee, I think I have the same problem!)

'Nuff said!

Steven's Neck

The very first time I met Steven I noticed that the back of his neck had a distinctly grey color to it. I wasn't quite sure if this was dirt or some "medical condition." I asked Keith about it and he said, "Yeah, I noticed that too. It's been that way for as long as I can remember." I suggested that it might possibly just be dirt and a good scrub might take care of it. After several washings, the grey was gone. I suspect that Steven's neck had never been washed the entire eight years of his life. Keith has had to teach his son to shower--including the ever-popular male technique of "lift and scrub." Steven's neck is now a clean, healthy, flesh color! Who says boys don't need dads?